Feeling an ego boost – a wild endorphine rush? Did that happen when a gorgeous 19 year old blonde added you as a facebook friend? True, you don't really know her but, hey, so what? She looks a bit familiar but you can't really place her. Ah well, you can always get to know her now that she's a friend. She's a female interested in men, or so her profile states. She's really cute and young and popular: 2600+ friends on her list can't be wrong. "Isn't it True?"

Let's have a look at what's on offer. Six profile pics. Stunning. She must be a budding local model. Three photos are definitely pro. Studio work, no doubt. "Who is the photographer?" asks a Jennifer to which she promptly replies "William Attard McCarthy :)"  '29 friends' like her profile pic. So popular and yet so accessible. She answers each and every 'like' and compliment thrown at her. "Nice pik hej"; "Thanks Larry"; "Nice picture"; "Thanks Sammy". 

"You should be in showbusiness :P", says Michael. Bernardette is such a spoilsport, "you don't look Maltese…". The blonde explains that her parents are Maltese but her "grandfather was English but his mother was Maltese." That explains it all because, really, she does look foreign in that Scandinavian kind of way and Bernardette is happy with the explanation.

Give me a break and swallow a bitter reality pill y'all. My deceased hamster was more of a Maltese blonde than this fake chick. She has thousands of friends and yet no pic with any of them. How sad. Her wall is blocked because she has no one to post real messages on and that would look suspect. You'd expect a real person looking half as amazing as her to have contacts littering her wall with "We really had a smash in pv yesterday" "Let's meet up again"... you caught the drift.  She has none. Her existence is limited to thanking contacts' compliments.

She's such a star though. Looks a bit like that Icelandic beauty, Yohanna. The singer who represented her country at the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow with the song "Is It True?", placing 2nd place too. Oh wait, have a look at those profile pics! She is Yohanna! She must be posing as a Maltese model wannabe. What a sport!